第九章表姐来支招了！
华诤回到家时，家人都睡了。第二天起得晚，下楼吃早餐时，父母亲和姑姑都出去买东西了，只见表姐Cindy穿着牛仔裤和T-shirt,光着脚丫子，一只腿踩缩在椅子上，正对着餐桌坐着吃东西呢。
“Hey, Matty, finally get up，Ah?”
比华诤大一岁的表姐Cindy岳思思是ABC，也就是传说中的“香蕉人”。她短发烫得卷卷地贴着头皮，瘦瘦的，皮肤故意晒得比较黑，眼睛很大。这种外貌在美国可是很吃得开的——美国人以为，东方女孩就应该长得又黑又立体才叫有神韵。
她打的招呼让华诤不好意思地抓抓头发。宋云贞正从院里进来，关上门，回身对华诤道：
“哟，大宝贝儿，起了？”
站在华母旁的菲佣，用生硬的中文道：
“少爷吃什么早餐？”
“随便”
华母道：
“那和姐姐一样吃牛奶面包？”
“好，谢谢奶奶”
华母接过菲佣手里的餐盘，边把早餐放在餐桌上边道：
“昨天怎么这么晚才回来？”
“Granny, He definitely had some last night.”
Cindy的脸对着外祖母解释，眼睛却是看着华诤挤眉弄眼。华诤有点怀疑自己的英文水平：
“I didn’t have anything last night. I came back and I went straight to sleep.”
Cindy十指张开，双掌在耳朵两边朝外举：
“ Eww~Liar! Whatever you say . Hey, Whatever you say!”
华诤觉得自己肯定跟表姐有什么误会，拉开椅子坐在她对面：
“I’m not lying. I don’t have to.OK?FYI, what do you mean when you said I had some? Had some what?”
“SEX! Of course!”
华诤一口牛奶喷在餐桌上。
Cindy笑着接道：
“What do you think I mean?”
华母忙过来给他拍着背：
“怎么了？宝贝，慢点喝！吃饭不要说话嘛。”
华诤边抽张纸捂嘴咳嗽，边朝祖母摆摆手、示意她不用帮忙。华母便拿了抹布来擦桌子：
“你们姐弟俩说什么呢？”
华诤忙道：
“没什么，没什么。”
“It’s OK to have sex,Matty, you don’t have to lie. I get it——You are a grown-up, you are in a relationship,you have sex.That’s what people do. Hey, I bet your girlfriend must be really awesome to keep you that long. ”
华诤连连朝表姐摇手：
“We didn’t have sex. We’ve never had sex.”
“Whaaaat?!”
Cindy看华诤的眼神，让华诤觉得自己就像来自侏罗纪世界的恐龙。
“You serious? ”
“Yeah. Why would I lie something about that?”
华诤顿了顿，既然表姐这么光明磊落，他也不想做个萎缩怕事的人，便露出一个无奈的苦笑，坦白道：
“Although I really want to. To be honest , It’s killing me! You know ,the whole NO SEX thing.”
“So you are hot?”
“What do you expect? I’ve never had sex in my entire life. Look at me, Sis.! I’m always hot! OK? However, my girlfriend, she’s too shy. I don’t want to scare her off.”
Cindy深感自己和这个表弟在文化上的差异鸿沟深深,两人根本鸡同鸭讲：
“Hey ,Matty, Sweety, look, you gotta have sex with your girlfriend, you gotta have WILD sex with your girlfriend——that’s what boyfriends do.That’s what would keep your girlfriend closer. I can ensure you that you are not the only one who’s hot. Women have needs.”
“Really?”
Cindy翻了一个“那还用说”的白眼，把脚放下来，正襟危坐，好像要准备谈什么事关国计民生的国家大事：
“I’m a girl,right? I’ve had boyfriends. I got a say in this staff. You gotta believe me,Matty, mark my words——Women have needs. Just go and meet the needs. Make your woman happy.”
华诤觉得表姐背后放着万道金光——简直就是上天派来拯救他的天使！
“But I don’t know how to bring it up. I love my girlfriend too much. I don’t want...”
“Wow Wow”
Cindy 双掌向外，像在推着什么东西：
“Wait a minute, Matty, Mathew, Matt Wa. Wait a minute! You saidaaa you LOVE her? Are you sure? Love is a big word. We don’t use it unless we really feel it.”
“Yeah. I can’t be more sure. I love her. Ever since the first time I saw her, I’ve been falling love with her. Actually, as days go by, I love her even more. Look, She is the sweetest girl I’ve ever seen. If anything, I’m hopelessly and desperately in love with her.”
Cindy脸绷紧了，眼珠子在瞪大的眼眶中转了转：
“Wow, OK. Loud and clear. Great. Good for you, Matty! Good for you. So you are in love. Does she love you back?”
提这一茬，华诤有点黯然神伤,耸耸肩：
“Well, I guess not. I don’t think so.”
伸长手臂拍着表弟的肩膀，Cindy慢慢道：
“Hey, have you ever heard the poem?”
“What poem?”
“’To be with a woman who doesn’t love you back, is more lonely than to be alone’”
为这句话，姐弟俩默哀了几秒钟。华诤想起什么,拍拍桌子道：
“Focus! Sis. Focus! Anyway, I don’t want to make things weird between me and my girlfriend. Are there any tips? Anything would lead us to``` you know?”
“OK”
Cindy摊摊手，笑道：
“You are family. Technically, you are my little brother. I’m your big sister. And I love you. I do. Hence, I would help you out whenever you need me. First of all”
Cindy 右手从左手心里扳出一个手指头：
“You gotta get a room for you two. Be alone, for God sake! ”
不过，鉴于中美意识上的差异，Cindy还是不放心地补充问了一句：
“Is your girlfriend OK with that?”
华诤点点头：
“Yeah. I can make that happen.”
“OK. Secondly, there is a story which would make your girlfriend want to have sex with you voluntarily. However, You gotta state it right.”
有这么神奇的事？
“What story?”
华诤正以空前绝后高涨热忱的态度在学习，大人们就回来了。华珮进门时，远远听到他们两姐弟的话，便喝道：
“思思，你忘记我们之间承诺了？在家不准说中文！”
岑兰笑道：
“是不许说英文吧？”
华珮笑道：
“唉，都被她气糊涂了。是，不准说英文！在家不准说英文！”
岳思思站起来，华诤抓住她的短袖阻止她离开：
“什么故事？”
岳思思为难道：
“对不起，你姑姑不准我说英文。我不知道用中文怎么说，我中文不好，我不会翻译。”
“Hey, Matty, finally get up，Ah?”
比华诤大一岁的表姐Cindy岳思思是ABC，也就是传说中的“香蕉人”。她短发烫得卷卷地贴着头皮，瘦瘦的，皮肤故意晒得比较黑，眼睛很大。这种外貌在美国可是很吃得开的——美国人以为，东方女孩就应该长得又黑又立体才叫有神韵。
她打的招呼让华诤不好意思地抓抓头发。宋云贞正从院里进来，关上门，回身对华诤道：
“哟，大宝贝儿，起了？”
站在华母旁的菲佣，用生硬的中文道：
“少爷吃什么早餐？”
“随便”
华母道：
“那和姐姐一样吃牛奶面包？”
“好，谢谢奶奶”
华母接过菲佣手里的餐盘，边把早餐放在餐桌上边道：
“昨天怎么这么晚才回来？”
“Granny, He definitely had some last night.”
Cindy的脸对着外祖母解释，眼睛却是看着华诤挤眉弄眼。华诤有点怀疑自己的英文水平：
“I didn’t have anything last night. I came back and I went straight to sleep.”
Cindy十指张开，双掌在耳朵两边朝外举：
“ Eww~Liar! Whatever you say . Hey, Whatever you say!”
华诤觉得自己肯定跟表姐有什么误会，拉开椅子坐在她对面：
“I’m not lying. I don’t have to.OK?FYI, what do you mean when you said I had some? Had some what?”
“SEX! Of course!”
华诤一口牛奶喷在餐桌上。
Cindy笑着接道：
“What do you think I mean?”
华母忙过来给他拍着背：
“怎么了？宝贝，慢点喝！吃饭不要说话嘛。”
华诤边抽张纸捂嘴咳嗽，边朝祖母摆摆手、示意她不用帮忙。华母便拿了抹布来擦桌子：
“你们姐弟俩说什么呢？”
华诤忙道：
“没什么，没什么。”
“It’s OK to have sex,Matty, you don’t have to lie. I get it——You are a grown-up, you are in a relationship,you have sex.That’s what people do. Hey, I bet your girlfriend must be really awesome to keep you that long. ”
华诤连连朝表姐摇手：
“We didn’t have sex. We’ve never had sex.”
“Whaaaat?!”
Cindy看华诤的眼神，让华诤觉得自己就像来自侏罗纪世界的恐龙。
“You serious? ”
“Yeah. Why would I lie something about that?”
华诤顿了顿，既然表姐这么光明磊落，他也不想做个萎缩怕事的人，便露出一个无奈的苦笑，坦白道：
“Although I really want to. To be honest , It’s killing me! You know ,the whole NO SEX thing.”
“So you are hot?”
“What do you expect? I’ve never had sex in my entire life. Look at me, Sis.! I’m always hot! OK? However, my girlfriend, she’s too shy. I don’t want to scare her off.”
Cindy深感自己和这个表弟在文化上的差异鸿沟深深,两人根本鸡同鸭讲：
“Hey ,Matty, Sweety, look, you gotta have sex with your girlfriend, you gotta have WILD sex with your girlfriend——that’s what boyfriends do.That’s what would keep your girlfriend closer. I can ensure you that you are not the only one who’s hot. Women have needs.”
“Really?”
Cindy翻了一个“那还用说”的白眼，把脚放下来，正襟危坐，好像要准备谈什么事关国计民生的国家大事：
“I’m a girl,right? I’ve had boyfriends. I got a say in this staff. You gotta believe me,Matty, mark my words——Women have needs. Just go and meet the needs. Make your woman happy.”
华诤觉得表姐背后放着万道金光——简直就是上天派来拯救他的天使！
“But I don’t know how to bring it up. I love my girlfriend too much. I don’t want...”
“Wow Wow”
Cindy 双掌向外，像在推着什么东西：
“Wait a minute, Matty, Mathew, Matt Wa. Wait a minute! You saidaaa you LOVE her? Are you sure? Love is a big word. We don’t use it unless we really feel it.”
“Yeah. I can’t be more sure. I love her. Ever since the first time I saw her, I’ve been falling love with her. Actually, as days go by, I love her even more. Look, She is the sweetest girl I’ve ever seen. If anything, I’m hopelessly and desperately in love with her.”
Cindy脸绷紧了，眼珠子在瞪大的眼眶中转了转：
“Wow, OK. Loud and clear. Great. Good for you, Matty! Good for you. So you are in love. Does she love you back?”
提这一茬，华诤有点黯然神伤,耸耸肩：
“Well, I guess not. I don’t think so.”
伸长手臂拍着表弟的肩膀，Cindy慢慢道：
“Hey, have you ever heard the poem?”
“What poem?”
“’To be with a woman who doesn’t love you back, is more lonely than to be alone’”
为这句话，姐弟俩默哀了几秒钟。华诤想起什么,拍拍桌子道：
“Focus! Sis. Focus! Anyway, I don’t want to make things weird between me and my girlfriend. Are there any tips? Anything would lead us to``` you know?”
“OK”
Cindy摊摊手，笑道：
“You are family. Technically, you are my little brother. I’m your big sister. And I love you. I do. Hence, I would help you out whenever you need me. First of all”
Cindy 右手从左手心里扳出一个手指头：
“You gotta get a room for you two. Be alone, for God sake! ”
不过，鉴于中美意识上的差异，Cindy还是不放心地补充问了一句：
“Is your girlfriend OK with that?”
华诤点点头：
“Yeah. I can make that happen.”
“OK. Secondly, there is a story which would make your girlfriend want to have sex with you voluntarily. However, You gotta state it right.”
有这么神奇的事？
“What story?”
华诤正以空前绝后高涨热忱的态度在学习，大人们就回来了。华珮进门时，远远听到他们两姐弟的话，便喝道：
“思思，你忘记我们之间承诺了？在家不准说中文！”
岑兰笑道：
“是不许说英文吧？”
华珮笑道：
“唉，都被她气糊涂了。是，不准说英文！在家不准说英文！”
岳思思站起来，华诤抓住她的短袖阻止她离开：
“什么故事？”
岳思思为难道：
“对不起，你姑姑不准我说英文。我不知道用中文怎么说，我中文不好，我不会翻译。”